Changed Innocence

This one, I wrote shortly after my son was born. This is the one I had published. It's called Changed Innocence.

I've often wished for death to release me
From the misery I once called my life.
I even tried calling it!
I hated my life and everything in it.
Commonly called depressed, I allowed it in.
Sucking me in, blackening my soul.
Emotionally dead, I was left with little
Beyond anger and hate.
And then something changed.

A life grew within me, changing my entire being.
A fruit of my passion for a married man, I admit,
But this still didn't take my hate away fully. However,
In the fear,
In the pain,
In the throws of my labor,
I found a moment of pure joy.
I had brought this life into the world.
How could such a world and soul of corruption and chaos
Create such innocence in his eyes?
My soul began to fly with love and expectation,
Watching him grow and become my new life.
Still, my lonliness caused me pain,

So now I lay in bed,
Alone and lost again,
I try and cry myself to sleep.
But sleep will not come for me.
I listen to my son, stirring gently in his cradle,
His innocent dreams taking flight.
I smile and stare at the ceiling,
My mind begins to wander.
My eyes close,
I drift away into dream and know
Things with be better in the morning.